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Default Mode Network

from To Walk A Glitter Path by Incorruptible Bodies

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lyrics

Every time I met you my heart whispered “Yes!"
That night you stayed over you helped me see the stars from my bedroom window for the first time
Your voice, your body, your mind - everything about you was perfection
I wanted to do it all again, immediately

But that wasn’t an option
So instead I tracked down some vegan jnsulating fluff to make into a blanket for an outdoor stargazing date

It seemed like a logical next step
I planned to borrow a telescope from the Westminster Reference Library

When I tried to construct the blanket I messed up

First I messed up the edges, got the size wrong
I remeasured and recut, using the same material but making everything smaller

Then I messed up the tension, everything came out wonky
I almost took scissors to the lot that night
Raging, cursing my clumsy hands and over enthusiasm

But I didn’t
I breathed deep and resolved to fix it

I worked nights
From a nautical themed Brussels hotel, I unstitched 10,000 stitches
I smiled to myself, realising that with this undoing, I was activating my default mode network
That aspect of our brain that you taught me about the night we walked in the darkness to swings

That part that operates when we perform rhythmic motions
That part that works in our sleep and when we daydream
That part that heals us

I was so keen to do anything for you that I messed up my own edges
I made myself smaller
And I messed up the tension
Came across wonky

Words are not like stitches
No matter how deep I breathe, they remain, marked "Message Deleted”
I wished I could have unsaid 10,000 lines, but I couldn't

I finished the blanket in the end
Picked your favourite colours and poured love into it as if I was fashioning an amulet
But the stargazing date was not to be

There was I thinking I could have kept you warm
But you never needed a blanket
You were already the hottest person I ever touched.

credits

from To Walk A Glitter Path, released July 14, 2022

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Incorruptible Bodies London, UK

Incorruptible Bodies is a side project of Daniel Neal, violinist from yndi halda.

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